Have I ever told you before...

...that I hate HELP UC? Since the beginning of my college life, I've been comparing HELP and INTI. From little things like, INTI has better food to bigger things like, INTI ADP offers better subjects. Maybe it's innate in me to criticize all the educational institutions I've been in (except for my kindy years). It's true, I've been unhappy about my primary school, secondary school and now my college.

I've begun to accept HELP as it is...and I do see its positive points. Like...ooohh! HELP is having this Global Collaborative Summer Program that allows their students to exchange to Kyunghee University in South Korea for a month. The same university that Kyuhyun is going to! I'm trying to apply for it but my mother has clearly shown her dislike for it because it's expensive (about USD1000 excluding food and air fare) and she thinks there's no good reason for me to go. She thinks I'm only going because I'm crazy about Korean stuff...which is party true but even without the Korean element there, I would still go...if it's at like China or Russia. What's more awesome is that professors from Princeton, Yale, U.Penn, London etc. are teaching the courses! This is my chance of knowing why Ivy Leagues are so renowned!!

Today's negative point was waiting for the bus. I was going to take the shuttle bus over to Main Campus to get my calculator back from Kyeng but I waited for 30 minutes and it won't show up! Kyeng's class is at 11am and by the time the bus arrived, it was 10.55am. It just had to show up when I gave up and went back to class. Sometimes...you can't blame the shuttle buses for being late because of traffic or technical problems. But I sure can blame HELP for building their campus on separate lands. Everyday from 7am to 7pm, at least 3 shuttle buses would ferry students from one campus to another and vice versa. Do you know how much petrol and heat is lost there? I feel so bad for taking the bus sometimes. Ohh..and if HELP could've gotten cheaper parking fees at parking lots near my campus, KPD, I wouldn't have to.

However, I have to give at least a little bit of credit for them to realize this after so many years. Now, they're building this new 'green' campus in Subang. As if harvesting the rain water and sunlight can redeem all the carbon they released. What's worse, I don't even have a chance to enjoy it...it would only be finished in 2011, the very year I'm going over to the US. The swimming pool...art gallery...4000 parking spaces!! Nothing!

Gosh...I sound so bitter. Yeah, if any of you HELP lovers out there reading this, please don't bash me or get me expelled. This is only constructive criticism, at its peak.

Sujuland!

Sujuland...where Super Junior songs play in your head 24 hours and you dream about them in your sleep. Where flowers with Super Junior faces grow among pearl sapphire blue grass. That's where I was the whole week after the concert. I couldn't do any real work after that. All I did was check Sapphire Pearls a few times everyday, watch Super Junior videos and search for SS2 Malaysia photos. I had a 10 page research paper to pass up that Friday and I haven't written a single word! But somehow, it felt okay...I felt 'happy'. Before, I would've freaked out about it and felt extreme guilt.

You know when you write, there's a flow? Yeah, I lost that after the concert. Before, words would just pop into my head, I'd write them down, and they'd make total sense! For the first time in my college life, I couldn't meet the page limit. We were supposed to write a 10 page report and we only managed to write 9 pages. I felt like half my brain was still in Sujuland...basically, I felt stupid. People, I have a normal IQ level.

For the first time, I felt like totally giving up on the report and go play. I'm the serious one in the group. When I complete something, I feel a sense of accomplishment, pride. This time, I only wrote the paper for the sake of writing and I felt ashamed to hand it in...it didn't feel like I wrote it. They're just a bunch of words put together. Please, don't let me get a C...B is my limit. Worst of all, that subject is a big part of my major. In about 9 months, more work, less time and I'll be by my lonesome self. How am I going to survive in the US?

Post-Super Junior Concert

This post would involve me acting like a total fangirl. My left ear is seriously damaged from all the screaming. It' still ringing from the concert and it's been 2 hours. But...AHAHAHAH!!! I got to see them up close! And some of the members waved at us! I can't believe we got to see them in person! Some of the fans got to take photos and shake hands with them. Sigh..should've gotten the closer seats.

We went there at about 4pm. To normal people, it's very early for a 7pm concert. But to Super Junior fans, it's considered late. Some of them camped over. The line in front of the stadium was literally a circumference around the stadium. We got some burgers for dinner and hanged around. Everywhere, people are wearing blue and a lot of booths were set up for merchandise. Speaking of which, those bloodsuckers marked up the price. A bottle of water costs RM2 when i could walk further down to the canteen to get it for RM1.20. This 'official' merchandise store was selling a package of 1 t-shirt and 1 plastic flag for RM120! And people actually line up to buy it. I'm not crazy enough for that. They were selling glow sticks as well. Outsiders selling non-sapphire blue glow sticks were overthrown by the ELFs. We were gonna ask the guy how much he's selling them. When a few ELFs came up to the auntie before us asking them not to buy non-sapphire blue glowsticks. Because they want to create a sea of sapphire blue in the stadium. Some people really are dedicated. Oh yeah, we had a total of 6 false alarms. Suddenly in the crowd, someone would scream, causing a chain-effect of screams. Everyone would rush to see but there's really nothing to see. At one point, someone did see someone famous..but it was some local Chinese artist. Yeah, like Super Junior would enter from the front gate! If they want to live, they'd sneak in from the back door/underground.

Okay, I have to admit...the whole sea of sapphire blue thing is pretty awesome (see photo). But Stadium Putra is way too small. Oh...and Marctensia is seriously getting on my nerves. They hired these RELA people to control the crowd and didn't let us bring water bottles in. I don't know why but they checked our bags and refused to let us bring water in. It's 3 hours of screaming! We've got to have water. Apparently they sell water at RM2 per bottle inside. Yeah, so that explains everything. Well, we had our way of sneaking our water bottles in. When we arrived inside, we still had to wait for another hour before they start. They played these ads for our 'enjoyment'. We had our own ways of entertaining. First of, we chanted 'SUJU' a lot of times and screamed everytime they put up ads on Super Junior. Oh, and we did this really cool wave. Even when they were checking the stage lights, we screamed. Basically, we're irritated by the whole waiting.

And then it happened. Everything was going past so fast...one song after another. When they first came in, we screamed like there's no tomorrow. Yeah..I'm gonna let the pictures and videos do the explanation.

Fancams by me.

Photos by me, my friend and a lot of other people from Sapphire Pearls.

*I'm having hallucinations. I can hear screams and chants around me.

Pre-Super Junior Concert

It's the day of the concert today!! Now people, I know I'm supposed to be over K-Pop and all. (Highlighted by not one, not two, but five of my college friends. Thank, you guys!) I never said I would never listen to/sing K-Pop songs. I'm just not addicted to them and I'm not gonna stalk them. Again, I was just talking about stalking them...I'm not really gonna do it (Yeah, I have Borderline Personality Disorder mixed with a little Passive-Agressive Personality Disorder sometimes). Like Sue said, I'm gonna get trampled in the crowd with all those probably younger and definitely crazier than me fans.

Oooohhh..them being in Malaysia feels so surreal. They're gonna drive on the roads I use everyday. And it's sooo nearr my house! I hope I can see the front stage....anyone has a good pair of CSI material binoculars?

Before the concert, my friends and I are gathering to watch the Super Show 1 dvd. Just to get the hyped up feeling before the real thing. Woohoo~ waiting for 7 hours is finally gonna be worth it!

Crying and Laughing

Have you ever felt so bad that you wished you could turn back time? Today for the first time in my life, I did. I was trusted with a job to finish editing my group's psychology movie assignment. I worked through the night for it and just for that one last hour before class, I slept and woke up at 11am with 10 missed calls and 2 messages with lots of exclamation marks. The messages said, "Where are you?! It's late already!" At first I thought I was dreaming because the sky can't be bright yet...I'm not sweating from nervousness in Winnee's class.

Then I felt like the whole world fell on my shoulders...it hurts but I can't do anything. All at once, a few voices started debating in my head.

My survival instincts came in and naturally I defended myself. "I'm human too! I slipped just that one time and I have to pay for it?"

Then another voice cried, "Why God!? Why would you do this to me!?"

An angry voice came out, "I haven't been talking to God. The many times I turned my back against God...this happens to me."

But God won't do this to me without reason, right? Then realization kicks me hard in the face. I remember hearing sermons about bad things happening to us and the first thing that comes into our minds is 'God is angry with me'. Most of the time, it's all our own doing...sure, God plans for these things to happen for us to learn but when it boils down to blaming, it's all us.

I tried to call Sue but she won't pick up...class is already over, she should be okay to answer my call.

Then I thought, "Oh no! What if she's still in class and her phone rang when I called her and now the whole class is punished because of me?"

That would certainly make them hate me more than they already do. As I pace around the house thinking what should I do...I cried in helplessness. They don't teach us in school on what to do when faced with these kinds of problems. I can never speak to my friends again and even if they forgive me, a crack will always be there in our friendship. They will never trust me again.

I sent a text to Sue and Audrey that read,

"Please call or text me. I can understand if you guys don't want to talk to me anymore. At least let me know if you handed in the other version or not."

Yes, there was another version of the assignment done by Sue. We were supposed to watch the two versions together and decide which one to hand in. Thankfully, Sue called me back...I was hesitant to pick up because I don't know what to say. Beg for forgiveness on my knees? I picked up and the first thing Sue said,

"Do we look like idiots to you?"

In my mind, "I'm doomed!!"

I answered..."No."

She said, "Of course we handed in my version."

I felt the whole world just lifted off my shoulder and I could smile again.

She said, "Don't beat yourself up la..."

I could only manage to answer in short grunts after that because I couldn't express how thankful I am.

I put down the phone and cried and laughed at the same time. It's not the end of the world after all. I have always known that sleep was my greatest enemy. Sleep to me is like Kryptonite to Superman. The reason why I'm always late for everything in the past, present and most probably in the future is sleep and time management problems. Well...what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? So now I know that I should never lie on the bed when I'm pulling an all-nighter.