Scary~

People, be careful in the internet world! There are creepy people out there. Just today some guy stalked me on MSN. I think he got my e-mail address from blogger or some other social network I joined. Oh yeah, that reminds me, don't join unnecessary social networks that you don't use at all. It's useless and dangerous. People can use your details and stalk your friends too!

Okay, so yeah, this guy got me on MSN and started chatting with me. I asked him where he got my e-mail address. He said he don't know. How can you not know where you get the e-mail addresses you add on MSN? I thought, it's alright to make new friends. Then he asked me how old am I and I was married and all that crap. I just answered to be friendly. Then he asked to add me on Facebook. So yeah, this is where it gets stalkerish.

He asked for my id. I said, just search for my e-mail address on Fb. Maybe he don't get it but he said he didn't have time to search. I told him I don't know what is my MSN id because I thought the e-mail is the id. He said I was lying in a lame jokey kinda way. Then I offered to add him. He gave me his 'id', which is the e-mail. I snapped at him saying that my id is the e-mail!! He finally got it. Sent me a request. Told me on MSN that he wants to know how I look like and how many friends I have. Which is not normal. Go see a trained professional, dude! (Okay, I just realized I'm training to be a psychologist. What if he comes to see me for psychological help!?)

Yeah, then I just told him if he's looking for a relationship, I'm not interested. He got it and all but I think he secretly wants a relationship. I honestly told him that he's making me uncomfortable with all his weird questions. He was like, "no, never!" My last words to him were, "I hope you have a happy life." Then I blocked him.

Just to be safe, I googled my name, my e-mail address and my mobile number to see if there are websites that he can get access to my private info. That's when I got to know that Friendster deleted my account. Considering I didn't sign in for almost a year now. That's beside the point. The point of me writing this post is to warn all of you the dangers of putting your private info on the net. And don't chat with strangers! I'm such a hypocrite here because I'm hooked on Omegle now. But you don't have to get an account on Omegle, so it's safe as long as you don't reveal any important info to the stranger. Yeah, and I realized he might know my blogger account and it's here that I have a lot of links to my friends. Be careful you guys and seriously, don't get too friendly with strangers. Just to be safe, his e-mail address is mausam_******@hotmail.com (Yeah, I don't wanna ruin his image on the internet). He's human too. Just ask me lah, if you think your stranger has a familiar e-mail address with this one.

I've never felt so alone before...

In my 18 years of life, I've never felt so alone before. In fact, I loved being left alone most of the time. Maybe it's because I'm in between so many things and people right now, I don't really have a fixed group of people that I always hang around. There is always the awkward moment. I hate introducing myself to new people and having to get through that (which I'm still trying to) to become great friends. Or maybe it's because of what my sister has with Jessica that I feel I should have too.

I don't have that one person on earth that I can turn to every single time I have something to share. God says to love your neighbours as you love yourself. I'm trying my best to do that but I wonder if others around me are. It's sad but sometimes I imagine myself in a situation where my friends have to choose between myself and my other friends. Who would they pick? Most of the time it won't be me. It's like in school where we have to pick people to join our group project. I'm the one that got left out and the teacher has to stuff me somewhere else.

I'm not someone that stands out in the crowd, but a person that tries to hide away from attention most of the time. I want a friend that I can depend on every single time. Who won't bail out when I need him/her the most. Who understands me when I don't have to say a word at all. One that I know will always care for me. That won't judge me in what I do. Basically, what Jesus is to me. A mentor and a friend. It's hard to find one but I pray that God will grant me this wish.

Sometimes I think my family members are here for that but because they have to. Most of the time I put my friends first before my family but where does that get me? I don't know. People always want something from other people. That's how the world teaches us to survive. This post may have hurt my friends but please, don't feel that way. Because I still love you guys no matter what and I'll be there when you need me. I just hope that sometimes you can do the same for me too.

I'm gonna be Moses

Well, she's finally gone

She taught me to love Coldplay

Called me a fatty and a dummy

Which is party true

She influenced every part of my life

How my favorite color is purple

How I like watching people cook

How I speak and write

Lots of people were there at the airport

I can't help but wonder

If I will have that many people sending me off when I go

Church friends praying with me

Friends hugging and crying with me

Family that just stands there waiting for me when I need them

I still couldn't believe she's gone

That's probably why I didn't cry while sending her off

I cried in the car though

Thinking how I'd be the only Christian in the family

Who would be with me through all my father's objections now?

I won't feel bad not doing my devotionals daily now

I know that's not a good thing

She introduced me to my life

All of it God's great plan

I am envious of what she have with Jessica

I want someone I can tell everything to

Apart from God, that is

Having a human friend on earth is just different

I do have friends...just not ones that I feel understand me

I wonder how it feels...to open up to someone

Letting someone know everything little detail of my life

No boundaries, just bridges

That's why I'm gonna take my chance in everything

I'm gonna have better fellowship

Yesterday's me is gone

I surrendered my life to God

He's gonna live my life now

And I know God wants a united body of Christ

So, I'm gonne be Moses

I have to do God's will and trust in Him

I lost my Aaron

She's my mentor

My friend

My sister

But I'm gonna live on

Knowing she's in a better place now

Going after what she's supposed to do

See you next year, 언니!!