Monday, June 8, 2009

God is good

Warning: This post may very well be the longest I've ever written. So, seat back, relax, grab a snack and read on~


Where do I begin? Well, it took me about 6 months to get my driving license. From the five hours seminar to my practical test this afternoon. It's approximately 6 months.
We promised each other, a promise never kept. We started together, took our first steps in driving. We meet at a junction. There were two ways, one to the left, another to the right. They speed ahead. I went to the right, alone, or so I thought. In the darkness, I was weighed down by my ego. I fell down twice and was laughed at. How stupid can I be? He held out His hand to me but I pushed it away.
I was tired, tired of falling down. When they tell me that I failed, my heart fell down. I kept thinking, "It's okay to fail, I still have another chance." But no, it's not okay. We do not settle for mediocrity!! I hoped, for someone to save me. It felt like someone pushed me into the deeper end of the pool and I was drowning but no one came to lift me up. And then He came... He fished me up. He says, "Nothing is impossible with me. I fed five thousand people, walked on water, drove out demons, died and rose again. Why do you worry? Do not worry about tomorrow as I am always with you." All at once, everything was clear to me. I only asked once, for He said, "Ask and you shall receive."

It was definitely a miracle. I was waiting for my turn to drive this afternoon. I was number one on the list, scary, but I had to face it anyway. I kept replaying how I would drive later, how I failed twice before this. Thoughts of bribing and of failing kept coming into my head. Voices telling me to just bribe, because if I failed again, it would be an embarrasment and it would be torture to dissapoint my parents and go through this all over again. But I kept rebuking these thoughts in the name of Jesus. I brought my Bible and read to myself the word of God and sang praises to Him. Finally, it was my turn;

Instructor: See Tho Wai Siong.
Me: (waving my hands) Ya.
Ins: (talking with another guy) Mana orang Cina itu? Saya suruh dia baiki itu air-cond satu jam lepas. Mana kereta itu sekarang?
Guy: (calling the 'orang cina') Mana kereta itu? Omar nak cakap dengan awak. Datang sekarang.
OC: (smiles) Ah...saya letak kereta itu di sana....(mumbles)
Ins: Saya tadi pukul satu suruh awak baiki itu air-con, sekarang dah pukul dua, masih belum siap! Awak selalu pergi main-main saja! Awak tak baiki itu air-con saya akan mati dalam kereta!
OC: (persuading)
Ins: Saya tak nak test dah! Awak pergi ambilkan kereta untuk saya!
Me: (mouth open "What about me?? I'm doomed!!")
Ins: (smoking cigarette)
Me: (singing in my heart 'How Great is Our God' "As cheesy as this is, it is the only thing that I can do to calm down my nerves.")
OC: (drove a new car down)
Ins: Ini kereta siapa? You main ambik saja ke!?
OC: Ahh...ambil dulu la..
Ins: Pergi tanya dulu siapa punya kereta.
-After going into the office for a while-
Ins: (waving at me to come)
Me: (get everything ready...last minute, forgot to put on the seatbelt)
Ins: Pakai seatbelt dulu
Me: Ahm....(put on seatbelt)
Ins: Ah Moi, dah boleh jalan
-Arrive at the junction, behind the white line-
Ins: Jalan...cepat sikit.
Me: Ahh? Bukan kena stop dan brek sebelum garisan putih ke?
Ins: Takpe, takpe..jalan saje.
Me: Ahh...okay.
Ins: Cepat-cepat sikit. You superman ma! Kena pergi cepat-cepat (singing superman theme song) ("LOL! I was wearing my Superman shirt. Thought it will give me confidence.")
Me: (laughs) Ah...kenapa dah tukar masa ujian kepada tengahari ah? Sebelum ni kan masa pagi?
Ins: Ya ke? Awak dari pagi tunggu sampai sekarang ke?
Me: Ahh? Tak la...instructor saya dah inform. Saya tanya saja.
Ins: Office nak tukar.
Me: Em...
Ins: Pergi sebelah kanan sikit. Tekan minyak banyak banyak.
Me: Ahh? Tapi instructor ajar saya turun bukit kena tekan brek.
Ins: Nanti you dah pass, masih dengar cakap instructor ke?
Me: Ahh..tak. (laughs)
Ins: Ah...tak payah stop, terus saja! Ahh...U-turn kat sini, signal dulu. Cepat-cepat pusing, tekan minyak sikit. ("practically teaching me how to drive")
Me: (just followed him)
Ins: Ah...susur saja. Tekan minyak lagi.
Me: Ahh...okay. ("very unsure, might trick me and fail me")
Ins: Kenapa? Pergi cepat-cepat takut ke?
Me: Ahh...sikit-sikit la. ("I was going around 60km/h, the speed they set for us was 40km/h to 50km/h.")
Ins: Nanti you pandu sendiri pun kena cepat ma.
Me: la, saya pun kena pandu kereta ke kolej di KL.
Ins: la! Tak boleh bergantung pada parents hantar you ke sekolah ma.
Me: la.
Ins: You letak anting-anting ke? (looking at my ears)
Me: la. Sakit oh...dah lebam.
Ins: Oh..ya ke?
Me: Ye la...ada darah. ("LOL! I was nervous...just crap whatever comes into my mind.")
-This lorry in front of me turned eventhough it was red- I didn't know, so, I followed-
Ins: Aih! Brek! Brek! (step on brakes for me)
Me: (step on brakes) ("this is it, I'm gonna fail! I went through the white line! In my moment of defence...") Ahh? Warna merah ah? Kenapa diorang belok ah? Saya tak tau la...lori kat depan, saya pun tak boleh tengok.
Ins: Itu gila punya orang.
Me: ("LOL!")
Ins: Ahh...okay, tukar gear. Cepat sikit. You boleh punya ma....kan boleh? Ah...signal kat sini.
Me: (change gear in the middle of the road)
Ins: Aih! Dah belok baru tukar gear ma.
Me: ....
-Awkward silence-
Ins: Dah, belok kat sini. (help me turn my steering wheel) Ahh...dah, sign kat sini.
Me: Terima kasih! Thank you so much! (beaming with happiness)

When I got my results I feel like shouting Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! I failed twice and would've failed the third time if not for Him. I was egoistic and did not ask for His help the first two times. But even with a little faith, I can do anything. At first when the instructor was arguing with the other guy, I thought that this is it, I'm doomed! That guy is in a bad mood. He will surely fail me to release his anger. Besides, he smokes, that would increase his stress even more. But I just waited and trusted the Lord. I kept praying for angels to guide the car I'm driving and that it would be a safe ride. My tiny faith brought Him to save me. "You didn't have enough faith," Jesus said. "I assure you, if you had faith as small as a mustard seed you could say to this mountain, 'move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." Now that I look back, I know for sure that he made that argument between the instructor and the Chinese guy just to prove that once and for all, it is His work happening. Coincidence? I think not! He just wants me to have faith in Him. To forever more cast all my worries to his feet. To surrender.

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