Thursday, March 1, 2012

Cortisol Levels Going Up Up Up

So I'm back again with more problems. This is my place to go to with my problems. You are now my dumping ground for my problems. It's days like this that makes me regret coming here, or even regret being alive. Don't worry...I may have suicidal thoughts now but I'm not actually going to do it. I love myself too much and I'm pretty sure God still wants me around a bit longer.

First off, we have some drama in the house I'm staying at. It never really involved me primarily but there's always been drama in the house. Today, all that pent-up anger just got released and we have a few very upset people due to some misunderstandings. I am partially to blame and I do have to clear this up. I have a feeling I will blame myself for the rest of my life just like what happened with grandma. My only way out of this cycle of idiocy is if I do everything in my will to fix this. And I will.

Next, we have this thing on campus that a friend and I feel like we don't like anymore. That's all I'm saying. No elaboration in order to avoid any more drama.

Finally, a friend and I was supposed to go on a trip but that might not happen because of her visa problems. And I'm sad 'cause I may not see this friend again.

On top of all that is an exam tomorrow, I'm not doing as well in my classes, I'm graduating soon and I'm not sure what's my plan and I'm frustrated at myself for not having a closer relationship with God. It's times like this that makes me feel like it's not such a bad thing if the world ended now. I need to pray - more and faster.

BTW, cortisol is a stress hormone, hence the post title. Oh, and it's also released during pregnancy. Not that I am! Just sayin' is all.

1 comment:

Lai Tee @ Grace said...

Hi WS,
You must be able to see that there must be a reason for every thing that happened.
Would like to encourage you by saying, "If there is no problem, there is no way for you to grow stronger." - don't blame yourself, drama happens all the time...depends how do you response to it. Fix your eyes on Jesus Christ! Prioritise and strive to the max for your education, I'm sure something great will come out from your education there...DON'T GIVE UP! (Read and claim this verse Jeremiah 29:11)