Cortisol Levels Going Up Up Up

So I'm back again with more problems. This is my place to go to with my problems. You are now my dumping ground for my problems. It's days like this that makes me regret coming here, or even regret being alive. Don't worry...I may have suicidal thoughts now but I'm not actually going to do it. I love myself too much and I'm pretty sure God still wants me around a bit longer.

First off, we have some drama in the house I'm staying at. It never really involved me primarily but there's always been drama in the house. Today, all that pent-up anger just got released and we have a few very upset people due to some misunderstandings. I am partially to blame and I do have to clear this up. I have a feeling I will blame myself for the rest of my life just like what happened with grandma. My only way out of this cycle of idiocy is if I do everything in my will to fix this. And I will.

Next, we have this thing on campus that a friend and I feel like we don't like anymore. That's all I'm saying. No elaboration in order to avoid any more drama.

Finally, a friend and I was supposed to go on a trip but that might not happen because of her visa problems. And I'm sad 'cause I may not see this friend again.

On top of all that is an exam tomorrow, I'm not doing as well in my classes, I'm graduating soon and I'm not sure what's my plan and I'm frustrated at myself for not having a closer relationship with God. It's times like this that makes me feel like it's not such a bad thing if the world ended now. I need to pray - more and faster.

BTW, cortisol is a stress hormone, hence the post title. Oh, and it's also released during pregnancy. Not that I am! Just sayin' is all.

I hate America!

Well...not all of America. Just the people dealing with my money. First off, Stony Brook University raised the tuition fee because Cuomo passed the bill to increase the tuition fees of SUNYs every year for the next five years because he wants to improve the education system. But who knows how much of that money goes into the education fund? A little heads up would have been nice. Just a few weeks before I transferred (after I've paid all the deposits) they told me that, "Oh, we're gonna take more money from you because we can." It frustrates me so much that there's nothing I can do to prevent that. Because he's the governor, he can take my money?

Then there's Bank of America. Don't even get me started on the overdraft fine. That is just ridiculous. But what happened today is even more ridiculous. So I opened an account with BOA on the 17th of August. I was given a temporary debit card when I opened the account and was told that I will get the permanent one in about 7 business days. It's been exactly a month. They've sent me two mails; one bank statement and one for tax forms (which I don't know why I have to do. I'm not a US citizen! You're not taking any more money from me!). But no sign of any debit card. Oh, that's fine and dandy until I realized that my temporary card expired because I couldn't pay my tuition fees or take my money out of the ATM. I called customer service and was put on hold (that's fine and all IF THEY WOULD JUST STOP PLAYING THE BLOODY MACHINE SAYING SHIT LIKE, "BECAUSE OUR CUSTOMERS ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO US, WE MAY E-MAIL YOU WITH A BRIEF SURVEY TO GET REVIEWS ON OUR CUSTOMER SERVICE" I'd rather have my arms ripped off than answer a BOA survey!) What I got from Ashlee of customer service was that BOA ordered a permanent card for me but FORGOT TO MAIL IT TO ME! Ohhh....you had no idea how much I wanted to curse her. But I didn't. So proud of me. I called 2 weeks ago and was told that I will get it in 10 business days. Why didn't that lady tell me they FORGOT TO MAIL IT!? Would've been nice to know then. I have to wait till they send me the bloody card on Friday. So now, I have no way of getting to my money. I am stranded in the United States of America with no money. Good job, Bank of America. I applaud you.

Then there's AT&T. I signed up for it in the city and used it for 3 days. Cancelled it on the 4th day to get on Virgin Mobile because it was too expensive. Got charged $54 for 3 days of calls, texts and the activation fee plus tax. I was told that I will get my $500 deposit back in 2 weeks, plus US Postal Office mail time. I was supposed to get that check yesterday. But no...I didn't. I check the mail box every single day. So I called them after BOA. They didn't mail a check at all. They credited my deposit but it was never mailed out. The case was even closed! What? So if I didn't call...they would've just taken my money like that? Lady on the line said she'd open the case for me again. Now I have to wait for another week for them to call back so they can figure out how to send me the money. Which means I have to wait godknowshowlong for the check/credit. What irks me so much is that it took minutes for them to take money from my account for the bill but it's been a month and they still haven't sent me my deposit back. What's up with that?!

You want to know what is wrong with all of them? When it comes to money, they don't care who they screw over. They just want their benefits. Customer service is just a way for them to screw us over even more with their phone holds and surveys. They don't take the effort to tell us what we have to do step by step to get what we want. When I opened the account with BOA, she didn't bother telling me the fine details. Just gave me a booklet and told me how to credit money into the account, use eBanking and take money from ATM. What about the tax forms? Or how I have to pay to cancel my account? Same goes with AT&T. If the guy on the line told me how to get my deposit back (or if I can even get it back) when he cancelled my line, it would've been nice. Thank you America, you strengthened my love for Malaysia.

Complaints

Ohmyblogiloveyousomuch! Yes, you can tell that I'm either drunk or sleepy. And I'm prohibited from alcohol so it's gotta be the second one. Why am I still not sleeping you ask? Well, I had to write this journal assignment for my transfer seminar class. Just completed, now catching up with friends back at home. I was just telling Albert how ever since I came here, I've been complaining a lot about my life. I love it here. I do appreciate this great education opportunity. But housekeeping details in my life have been agitating to me. Because I live on my own now, I have to worry about the internet bills, the rent, my mobile no. and FOOD! I buy groceries every weekend but somehow I never find time to really cook for lunch or like today, no food the entire day. I woke up late, thinking I can just go to class at 11.20 and that's it. But no...I had to go to the Visa office because they didn't scan my documents properly and then, I had to decide whether I should drop this writing class or not. Easy A vs. More Time. In the end, I dropped it but I had to wait till my writing class today is over for whatever nostalgic reasons I had. So, I was late for my next class which is Psychology (my major=very important). I couldn't go to class before dropping the class because today is the last day to drop subjects. Yupp, it's so me.

I do realize that I have more complaints about everything in general. It shouldn't be like that. My non-Christian friends here embrace the godly principle of not complaining better than I do. Oh, sure...PSY338 is hard. Just suck it up and do it! Get an A! Get into grad school! No, get into grad school in Stanford! This shall be a beautiful memory of me beating myself up. Gooooonight lovely people! :)

American English 101

Say a lot of 'like's, 'basically's and 'oh my god's in your sentences. You'll fit right in. It does have negative consequences, however. One big one being that some people will eventually get annoyed at the repititive words.

Life as a student

Sad thing about living as a student? I have to cut corners everywhere. I just ate out of the pan I cooked with and it also happens to be my kettle/pot. Oh, I'm using disposable spoon and chopsticks I got from chinese takeaway. Ahh...this is why they say students have no money.